No happiness today... may be tommorow...

 My Gtalk status read "Smile.... cause happiness could return today... it should......."

Today, i waited for long... but oh aayi hi nahi.. happiness so strange .. haina?

I was waiting in anticipation since this morning.. it was kind of a wait ... a hope .... may be she was busy elsewhere...

Now this happiness is such a sweet little thing ki its difficult to live without.. no matter what happens .. the yearning remains...

so even as i thought it could return today.. in hearts of my heart i hoped it should ... Alas, Kash it happens...

After a long wait ... i decided to call upon her this evening... from my heart i called upon her... may be she wud hear ... but...she didnt respond

So i just left her a message

"wondering if u wud be around today..........

?????

and hoping u wud be"

Happiness once said .. she cant see me sad … and now she’s not around…. funny na…. J

but koi na no worries... i hope it comes along tomorrow... and gets me to that smile...

Tum: Tum bhi na pagal ho.....

Hum: Tum ya hum.....??

 

No happiness today.... may be tommorow...

My Gtalk status read "Smile.... cause happiness could return today... it should......."

Today, i waited for long... but oh aayi hi nahi.. happiness so strange .. haina?

I was waiting in anticipation since this morning.. it was kind of a wait ... a hope .... may be she was busy elsewhere...

Now this happiness is such a sweet little thing ki its difficult to live without.. no matter what happens .. the yearning remains...

so even as i thought it could return today.. in hearts of my heart i hoped it should ... Alas, Kash it happens...

After a long wait ... i decided to call upon her this evening... from my heart i called upon her... may be she wud hear ... but...she didnt respond

So i just left her a message

"wondering if u wud be around today..........

?????

and hoping u wud be"

but koi na no worries... i hope it comes along tommorow... and gets me to that smile...

Tum: Tum bhi na pagal ho.....

Hum: Tum ya hum.....??

Koi yeh kaise bataeee.....ki woh tanha kyun hai

Loneliness.... a feeling so hard to explain...and even harder to reason out... means how can one say why one is sooo lonely...

today m feeling the same... i feel like a single man standing on this big big earth and everything else just moving around... i can feel the love of people who love me... but.......

may be its lack of someone to talk to....dnt know

Infact may be m pissed off with the world...means how can someone be soooo materialistic.. and that someone being the whole world...

damm the world which values a diamond more than the tears of heart.....

truly speaking i wud prefer a hazar times asking God ji to let me die in love than asking him to make me rich enough so that i can gift the people around lots of gift

My cousin got married and surprisingly the things most discussed is gifts exchanged... come on how does it matter.... there are things more important happening... 

I love my Mom in this regards ... shes so positive ... she sees the good part in the things and appretiates the efforts well done ... my dad as well is very understanding and understands the things over so called materialistic things .. m lucky to have them.... 

Rab ji duniya aisi kyun banaee............................................................................

@#@$~!!#$% thats life.....

So many attempts so many guesses so many wishful thinkings..... yet means how strange it is...thats why everyone is living in a dreamof his or her own...

means I dont know how life is different from a dream...and u know what

has been long since I talked to tum.... or rather lived the dream rather than real life

u know what tum, i dont have words to say what m really feeling... thats why feelings and not words....

but yesterday I watched a movie, a man gonna die in a few dayz.... gets to understand ... how simples things cud be.... frankly I found the movie a bit blunt.. talked directly to my heart.,... means a friend goes to his friend to meet him as one of his last 10 wishes and his the people think hes around for a help in terms of money.... how shameful can a human mind and heart be when it thinks that "practically"...

and then when the man asks his brother.... i kind of remember the exact conversation. He asks his brother to put up with his own mom.... and his bro asks... if u need help asistance........ pitiful pitiful for that mom who has such a son and the son who cant appreciate such a wonderful thing called mom

tum, why is the world the way it is ... why cant people be good and when they are why they have to behave more practically.... why has life to be different from a dream..... alas....

Tum:...........................................................................................................

And  u know what tum, things were so very different ... a small thingh like getting a leave approved.... made me so happy.... I just felt like talking to someone and telling them.... 

means how small things matter..... in such a big big life........

Tum:...........................................................................................................

u know what tum... ur silence says soooooo much ....

hmm.......... @#@$~!!#$% .........thats life.....

The Kiss of my life

Sometimes in life you ask for an apple, and you get a dozen. They say, “Never try too hard, the best things in life come when you least expect them”. That looks to be the chemistry at least between me and life. I’ll tell you, in my life ………things happen.

In my life most of the times 3 and 3 have made an 8. And you know a mail couple of dayz back said, the only way it can happen is “galti se”.  I believe both my admits at graduation and post graduation colleges were a fluke. I didn’t try didn’t plan… it just happened.

And then the most crucial decision of life. They say “Everybody should get married, after all happiness is not the only thing in life”.  I am one of those guyz who all through life never had a girl friend, though personally I love to be that way.  Believe it or not (please read the last 4 words again), I never found too many beautiful girls around. Now I am not the smartest Casanova of the town who can be that demanding. But unfortunately that’s the way I am… which doesn’t make the results all that surprising.

So when it came to conferring the title of “better half”, I hadn’t actually planned for a list of must and should haves. But at an unconscious level you do want the best for yourself. So when my friends spent months in searching for “the one”, I was sure it would be longer for me. After all shahjahan’s tajmahal took so many years and I was on a lookout for someone for whom I could built one

Just to give you a flavor of my choosy nature, it took me around an year to finalize the mobile phone I want for myself and you know what I choose… iphone… what you cant find around with anyone in a radius of 100 km (its not available in India).  Its easier to count the seconds from sun rise to sun set watching the sum, but getting me buy a pair of shoes…. Ask my sis.

In short I am a smart choosy fool and the one sitting right up there is adamant to prove otherwise….   So I had planned for the smartest, most intelligent and of course  good looking girl. I looked at the skies with a wicked smile… asked him… this is what I want…. Or get me anything close to that… but make it within a year plz…  and when he answered ….

I haven’t seen or formally met any marriage prospect… and all I have to say t when I look up is… thanks for the Kiss… thanks for keeping it simple for this stupid my lord….thats what makes you my best GOD.

Of the dimpled cheeks and pinned nose

Beauty? a question, a feeling, an essence, God knows what. They say its hard to analyze beauty. Analyzing beauty is like trying to cut air with sword… ull never achieve anything.

Its something which can make u hold ur breath, skip a heartbeat and live a life in a single moment.

When I thought of this title, I didn’t know what m gonna write, as was the case till I wrote this last sentence.

I just wanna think about a beautiful face with dimples in the chin and probably a small very small shining piece of shining nose pin which can make one think of giving away ones life

Beauty is there in this world, but a dimple on the check and a nose pin to die for are just the toppings just to make the cake a perfect one….. Imagine a beautiful gal with a sparkling nose pin and about to smile… so that u can see those cheeks sink in and so does your heart….

Mehar Rab di... the Mehar of Love shayad

Kisi kisi din rab ji enni mehar karde ne …ki sambhi na jave…u cherish it on and on... but some days are meant to be special..... tusi thak jande ho sambh sambh ke but today He is tutha .. and He goes on and on

Tusi unha wal dekhde ho and bas… u see them sehme ghabraye… nervous …. stunned at the world around.. no expressions simple plain face…. It’s a moment to watch on and if possible hold on to… such simplicity such purity in beauty is seldom witnessed…. probably it just exists in the imagination of poets. U just feel ki kaash es moment the u cud have just hugged them so so so tightly ki unha di saaaaari pareshani tuhade kolon aa jaye…

and then u just see a hint of smile…. hale muskuraye nahi.. but just a hint… and that moment….. Oh my my …oh my God….it looks more beautiful than any thing........ you can just go watching on and on . I think there are very few such moments anyone comes across if at all one comes across them. and then they smile…. masha allah…not a big bright smile but a mystery monalisa one….

Add on to that a small very small shining nosepin.. and a bindi… and u r just gone…u just wish ki aisi kis moment wich hi…. aisi kisi muskurahat nu vekhde … tuhada dam nikle…. probably that’s how happy a person can get…

There are three parts to reacting to anything that beautiful… first u smile in and out of ur heart a genuine appreciation … then as God showers more of it.. u skip a heart beat and take a deep cold breath.. in hindi its called “aaah bharna”

And guess what If God ji go crazy and continue.. u see more of it and any more beauty u see… u just say “Satnam waheguru”

Beauty which is sooo pure… may be beauty is one of the manifestation of God… The bliss of the beauty goes on for days to come….

but kisi kisi din sachi Rab ji vi mood vich hunde ne and anni mehar karde ne ki sambhi na jaye … saambhi na jaye….

oh my lord.. i dont have strength to say anything about such a beauty.... Oh lord i surrender....